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The Square Pheanix

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to the sound of gems [02 Oct 2009|12:33am]
gemstones being crushed under my feet sound orchestral at this time of night, i can hear red moving like a thunderstorm of blood cells, i can see green leaves and feathers inside of sounds all wrapped up and stowed away in this silk cloth bag

i am stepping on this sack of gemstones with my bare feet and feeling things crunch and collide together under a soft cloth skin, more brilliant in their destruction than ever in perfection

did you ever notice how much more interesting things become once you try and understand by destroying them?
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hey, hey, uh, hey jane [19 Sep 2009|08:47am]
blue and beautiful bubbles are all around us but i think you are too busy to notice
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heart eater [25 Aug 2009|11:24pm]
i am the heart eater

and of course you don't know,
you'll have not an inkling until you are sitting at
breakfast one day with an ache in your chest and thinking, why the dull ache and phoning your lover to be sure just in case, just in case you might have abandoned or been abandoned and just not known it for a moment,

and little will you know even as they reassure you that this is me and all
my doing, that a sliver of your heart as thin as a hair is sitting on my plate and ready for my eating

i'll be saying my prayers for you that you will miss what i have taken and remember me, and hope that the moment your heart hair brushes a tastebud of mine that i will finally understand you and everything you never told me

some hearts i've tasted were more bitter than i ever imagined, worse than chinese medicine made from ground up cicadas (and maybe, according to mom, a charm for the lungs, because the more bitter they are the stronger they make you),

and some were so sweet i couldn't stop smiling for years,

some left me hungry and impatient for more of them, others made me consider quite seriously not ever trying another sliver again lest i be poisoned worse than by the last,

but somehow none or even all of them together have ever been enough to
stop me from testing and tasting,

hunger you can quench but a crave never ends,

and now that i have yours in front of me i am starry-eyed again,
just imagining what mothball funny crumbs of pansy delight and springtime melancholy your heart will probably taste like

ceremoniously i raise my glass to you, your heart and all of you,

and as i reach across my plate to you

i am as hopeful as every time


tell me you love me, will you,
and i will never
forget
this
taste
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on the small smaller and smallest life of mister jim jimmerson [19 Jul 2009|01:06pm]
i guess i could have given you a more honest answer this morning when you stepped on my twenty four year old tail,

but you see it is simply that in times like these,
like when someone has stepped on your until now secret and invisible twenty some year old tail,

that you are not in the position of making the wisest and sanest choices.

when you said it had been a strange ride on the deviled carnival elephant, dismounted and sighed i remembered at once how

confusing this tent really was, how confusing and sparklingly mad

this tent really is, and could not help but
feign a worm of a smile,

with all of your five and eighty kilograms of weight upon my
secret and sore appendage



so here's to the best and scariest ride there is, my friend, and everything that is and is not to come - yes you can and should always have hope, but more importantly i think you'll need

a sense of humor

ladies and germs, toys and girls, it is time

for the twenty fourth act
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in over my arms [27 Jun 2009|01:13am]
on the way home i passed sleeping beauty again and
i wanted to kiss her but refrained,
i still remember the things that got on between she and me and have decided to leave things at


that,


because i wanted her to see me for the prince i have always been
and count back the days to when i last had her and we
drank together

the liquid violet of our
lives
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[03 Jun 2009|10:08pm]
i should like not to be hey janed into anything if possible,
my french lover exclaims,
as she jumps from our bed back into her clothing and off and out the door,

the mice in our apartment do not scare me anymore, i was told to man up and so i did in more ways than one i suppose, and all of a sudden i have this french girl as a temporary fixture in my mouseless apartment, not to mention a strange and bad feeling that the milk we left out on the table has soured by today

i am discouraged but content, twiddling an empty wine glass in my large hands and thinking about what to do

why is everyone in such a hurry anyway all the time, is it just
me these days moving slower than sand or is just everyone i know
out and caught in the rain?
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- [14 May 2009|12:28am]
mister passion mister purple mister golden throttle bottle
your outerspace callgirl be callin your ass, is you tunin in to these
extraterrestrial broadcasts

your prize and beautiful donkey been done seized for bounty

so come clean out of the washer now
come clean, like the real deal.
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i swear, i swear [07 May 2009|06:35pm]
a young turtle came across my way and asked
if i were enjoying my smoke, the
smoke from my tiny cherry cigar, and i told him
instead the story of the spanish housewife who had
left her cakes to burn whilst scrubbing the ceiling,

because you see my little turtle, said i in a knowing and just way,
it is such a life as theirs (spanish housewives, i meant)
in which not only did ceilings need to be scrubbed but cakes must also
be watched before they were burnt,
was such a life where the men about town were always about
town busy knowing not of their silently troubled housewives,

it is were was always would be such a life as theirs
passing before their own eyes in a puff of cherry smoke
sweet burnt and a little ashy, you see

i think he understood, nodding slowly and continuing upon his way

no one ever
quite gives turtles the credit they deserve
clever as they are!

and you well what stories would you have
told
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when i say bad and do not mean it in a good way [26 Feb 2009|01:27am]
what if you ate the fruit, would you then
follow me into the
city of ostriches?

the city of ostriches?


munch munch munch
munch crunch crunch

you know not what you miss

glass melting like honey in your mouth
and me gone in a breath
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obama [21 Jan 2009|02:40am]
mister obama of course i stayed up for you, stayed awake to see my heroes cheer you on, yo yo ma on his cello and itzhak perlman on the fiddle as he always calls it cheerin you on in the only way i would really know how,

of course i jumped out of my skin when i heard the boom of a cannon mark the end of your speech, could not open my eyes again until i heard your voice, thought maybe they had ended your life

yes change is coming change has come, now someone
keep him safe

martin

keep
him
safe

america be good to him he is our only hope
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new what? [01 Jan 2009|12:33am]
i came into the supermarket holding my zippo alight, it was just before 2 am closing and i had just stumbled in and only to say

new what? today is a new what?

new? what?

ordinarily i might be buying tangerines, or cancer in some form or other, or some clever disguise for antidoted loneliness, but lately i find myself

uttering this one and poisonous word more than most others, which is to say,

the word,

what?

what??

because it is times like these, my friends, when you step back and you say,

but i am in love, and a complex but simple but mud-framed multicolor zany romance, looking at it through a kaleidoscopic

chinese dumpling made by my own

hands,

and i am wondering,

mister two thousand and nine, what will you bring for me? what darling dreams gone wildfire will you bring for me?
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and then you'll run and then you'll run and then you'll run [14 Dec 2008|04:19pm]
you got me in this kind of irritating way

it doesn't even happen often that someone gets me, but when it happens, i usually

experience this peculiar sensation that my

heart is being swallowed, and by a swan,

which is to say, down a long and curved and graceful throat, smoothly and roundly,

and peculiar as it is it is a sensation i

quite enjoy,

however this time you have gotten me in this
sort of
spleen-splitting, acidic and distasteful manner,

and i feel a bit like
a
salt-sprinkled slug

thanks a lot for the pick-me-up, joe, just what i need
for the week before trees
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the story of how we fell and fell and fell in love [03 Dec 2008|01:24am]
jack threw a dart straight into
my heart,

i counted to five to stay
alive

rolled a globe of ice,
hot before dice


and the day you came, with
knives in your hands

that's
when
i
knew

i was in love
with you
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i went back [06 Nov 2008|08:52pm]
i went back for my king of hearts but the jack was not in, not to receive me nor my expired postcard,

i stood outside and frowned, was disappointed that the
striped columns outside the
prince (not france) barbershop were not a-twirl, were instead clear like a plastic and patriotic candy cane


i think you forgot me my doll
but i have not forgotten

me
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m [02 Nov 2008|01:33am]
please please don't let me down

please
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bleeding shadows [26 Oct 2008|09:50pm]
and as you were trying to undress me, kissing my ears neck face hands fingers moving up my shirt i frowned, felt my insides rise like tides and i stopped you, pulled myself aside for a word, heeded my reflection in a glass shaking its head slowly side to side

i am right as always, i am always right, you cannot fool me mister jack of hearts you can't
i have the king locked away in my cupboard you see, he sits like me upside down downside up sword through his noggin you see,

before i glitter i will choke and choke and choke and choke

kiss me i am

wearing my rubber lips
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kinda hurtin [22 Oct 2008|11:06pm]
doctor doctor doctor, quick give me some medicinez!!
i am kinda hurtin, woke up today all backwards
where my kidneys shoulda been my stomach was, where my brain shoulda been
my heart was,
my tongue was missing and the cat did not have it,
opened your mouth to see and it
was not down your throat where i left it,

doctor doctor doctor, i am sick like
someone in
love!

this does not do at all, i mean

the man himself
sings heartbreak hotel

where are all the young numbers gone
where or where are they gone
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on love [05 Oct 2008|06:42pm]
i bought a model train set today. it has trains, railroads, mountains, forests, and rivers and all kindsa stuff in it. i had fun putting it together and suddenly remembered how i

was always annoyed with boys when i was young and could not understand what the attractions of trains were. and then i got confused, because today as i was putting together this train set, i all of a sudden could not understand anymore how

anyone could not like model trains?!?!!!! and their little sets with sceneries and funny little things in miniature

i invited my neighbor over when i was halfway done i was so excited with what i was doing, but he instead of appreciating the quiet genius of miniature train sets was like,

jane why the fuck are you putting trains inside the bushes? and instead of answering him i just continued doing what i was trying to do, maybe a cow here and a little farm silo there, across the way in the pond

how could anyone not love this??? what kind,

what kind of child have i been all this time???????
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princess princess [02 Oct 2008|09:07pm]
i dated a bone doctor once, her name was grace.

at dinner one night she took my hand, asked me,
what would you do if i broke this? here and here and here and here?
and i just shook my head, continued eating, thought it might not be so bad to have more excuses to see her,

i mean you'd treat me, right gray? why else would you break me?



and another time when we were locked outside she squeezed my arm and whispered, have you ever actually
seen any of your bones before, jane?

and, of course i haven't, and of course she has,
told me she was bored once and to pass the time started cutting through her skin with
that ginsu knife they sell online that will cut through three inch soles


auntie jean loved grace
but not as much as i did, the last we heard was when she wrote, and all she had to say that time was

i think i like elbows the best after all, they are my favorite and the hardest of them to break
your one and only true and best,
love me now and always

grace
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loverabbit [24 Sep 2008|11:06pm]
i once drew a heart on your hand, do you remember this? it looked like a face and when i was all done i said, see, smiling my sideways half a smile more of a smirk than a smile smile, see, my love has eyes, you get it?
and of course you didn't get it, and i just scribbled it out and sighed

isn't there anyone out there anyone at all that gets me, knows why i sleep with a knife under my pillow

who knew being fascinating could be so exhausting
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